Dinner Parties

.
We are going to some friends' house for dinner on Saturday.  It is funny to think about it, not because they aren't super-sweet and we anticipate a great time together, but because planning a menu to please everyone is hard work!  We are their guests this time, but because I know how hard it can be for Paleos to accommodate a vegan, I offered to bring a salad.  I was waiting until after she decided on her menu to make up my mind about the kind of salad.  Today, I found out dinner will be (chicken for the omnis) stuffed bell peppers with Paleo dirty rice.  Sounds so yummy!  


Paleos accommodating vegans isn't the really funny part.  It's the fact that R is allergic to coconut, which is a large part of what Paleos cook with :)  Add that to the fact that Paleos eat mostly meat, while vegans eat none, and these Paleos also have to eat gluten-free because of allergies...and mostly avoid soy (while vegans often eat a lot of soy!), and we have got ourselves one challenging dinner to plan!  It makes me chuckle just thinking about it!  Are you confused yet?  lol


After finding out the theme is Mexican-inspired (minus the dairy), I decided to make a chipotle ranch dressing for a mixed green salad that I'll bring (along with home-baked corn tortilla strips for the topping).


Making a vegan ranch that doesn't involve soy milk or tofu ended up being pretty easy.  The kids think it tastes exactly like the buttermilk ranch they get in restaurants.  Big J likes it better than "normal" ranch!  R thinks it is fantastic :)  That right there is the ultimate seal of approval around here!  


Here it is, (quickly) labeled and everything for our party:

Here is how I made it, in case you wanted to give it a shot:


Vegan Chipotle Ranch Dressing & Dip


1 Cup vegan mayonnaise (I used light Vegenaise)
1/4 cup unsweetened almond milk (you can use soy milk)
scant 1 tsp garlic granules
1 1/2 tsp no-chicken broth powder*
1/8 to 1/4 tsp salt (start with 1/8, add more to taste)
1 tsp onion powder
1/4 to 1/2 tsp black pepper (start with 1/4, add more to taste)
2 heaping teaspoons fresh chopped parsley
1 T apple cider vinegar
1/2 tsp dried dill
1 tsp lemon juice (I gently squeezed half a small lemon...add to taste)
1/2 to 1 chipotle pepper (I used the canned kind in adobo)


* Depending on the brand of powder you use, or if you make it at home like I did, the amount may change


Put all ingredients except the chipotle into a strong blender (I used a Vitamix) or food processor and mix until smooth and all ingredients are incorporated.  Taste.  Adjust seasonings.


Add about a 1/2 inch section of chipotle pepper at first, unless you are like me and like it hot!  I liked it with almost an entire pepper blended in, but I put just a tiny bit in the dressing we are taking to share with friends.  I will finely chop some chipotle and take it with me for them to put into their salad if they want more heat.


So, there you have it!  It was that easy :)


I plan to take chopped cilantro as well to top the salad, because not everyone likes cilantro.  But this dressing with fresh cilantro blended in would be fantastic!!  Or green chiles instead of chipotle plus a little cilantro.  The possibilities are endless :)


Today, I was blessed to read the blog post of a (young) woman whose dear family played an important role in my life and that of my family.  We spent countless holidays together. Her mom was my mom's best friend.  The once-in-a-lifetime kind of friend.  After reading her post today, I decided to nix my previous plans for a post and just send you her way as she talks about grace.


I love her imagery, and have never seen a description of grace that manages to put into words what my heart feels...until now.  It is beautiful.  And true.  And it might just make you tear up a little, so be prepared :)


http://www.mills5fam.blogspot.com/2012/02/grace-for-ordinary.html


Thank you to my friend for being real and honest, and for sharing her words with countless people.  Your words blessed me today!
.

[Mostly] Wordless Wednesday

.
Lots of pictures and fabulous meals to share, but little space in my day (or brain) to write much about them!


Breakfast for both sides of the family yesterday:

Lunch was a bowl of kale and chickpea soup, spiced with curry and smoked paprika.  Loosely based on this recipe.  I used a regular potato and chickpeas (I didn't want to go to the store for white beans, and R hates sweet potato).  I also used both green onion (green parts only) that I had left from a recipe the day before and some white onion.  R ate a bowl of it, because it smelled so good while it was cooking!  H said she "loved it."  I loved it, too!  One of my new menu staples.

Ever since the first time I made pumpkin chocolate chip cookies, I have been eager to try them again!  So, I made another batch of them with a few changes to the recipe from last time.  The major change is that I used honey (and 1T of water) instead of maple syrup, which is what I subbed for the brown rice syrup last time.  I liked the texture better with syrup, but the flavor better with honey.  Hmm.  I think I might just buy some brown rice syrup and see what all the fuss is about :)

Then, I decided to make a chickpea cutlet and serve it over a bed of spaghetti squash, topped with some pan-roasted grape tomatoes, minced garlic, lemon zest, lemon juice, parsley, and a little parmesan substitute.  It was so good that big J asked for a bowl for dinner.  Little J had his cutlet all by its lonesome, dipped in Chick-Fil-A sauce :)

Day 2 - leftover cutlet served on bed of spinach with fresh, diced grape tomatoes, fresh parsley, lemon zest, lemon juice, and a little miso mayonnaise.

To make the chickpea cutlet, I needed no-chicken broth powder.  Since I have no idea where to buy that and had no desire to hunt the always-crowded aisles of WF to figure it out, I made my own!  It smelled so good, and although it could have used a little more salt for the cutlet recipe, it is a fantastic low-salt broth powder.

After tonight's spinach and cutlet meal, I wanted a dessert (big surprise there!).  I toasted an Ezekiel english muffin and topped it with a little Biscoff spread (that stuff tastes amazing...like ground up graham crackers!), cacao bliss, and coconut cool whip (which melted a little since the bread was warm).  It tasted like a s'more!

On that note, good night! :)
.

Another's Vessel

.

"Jesus answered, 'Everyone who drinks this water 

will be thirsty again, but whoever drinks 

the water I give them will never thirst.

Indeed, the water I give them will become in them

a spring of water welling up to eternal life.'"

John 1:13-14 (NIV)

For the last several weeks, God has been refining something in my mind that will one day be something bigger.  I am just waiting to reveal those plans until He has made them clearer to me.  In the meantime, He has been working with me in understanding some of the common things we see in the church.


These last few weeks, my thoughts have centered on the idea that many people miss out on the complete joy they can experience with Jesus because they are drinking from another's vessel.  Let me explain what I mean...


Jesus told the Samaritan woman at the well that she could drink of living water...she could feel whole.  She could feel complete.  She could never be thirsty again.  All she had to do was drink from His well.  Drink the water He offers.  This is the same invitation He gives us.


What if, instead of drinking from His well of living water, we instead went to other people who were drinking from His well and asked them for a drink?  What if we then drank it out of their cup?  Would we feel good?  I'm sure!  There is no way to not feel the effect of His life-giving presence.


But would we feel complete?  Would we feel like we had gotten all that we were offered?  Definitely not.  That's like drinking from His well by proxy.  It's like asking other people to do the work...make the journey...have the encounter with Jesus...draw the water from the well...fill their cup.  So that you can just take a sip.  When this happens, it is no surprise that there is a feeling of emptiness.  We are still thirsty!!


Jesus didn't tell the woman, "tell your friend to come deal with me, accept my gift, draw the water, and then give you some."  He didn't say, "you aren't worthy to drink this directly from me, so go tell someone else to do it and share with you."  He didn't say, "come to me through someone else."  NO.  He told this woman, who was living in sin and a Samaritan (gasp!)...Come.  Take a drink.  First, you have to realize I know about your sin.  Then, you have to accept the gift.  Then, drink and be thirsty no more!!


You may be reading this and scratching your head wondering what on earth I'm getting at.  Let me make it real.  How many people do you know that regularly go to church, attend Bible study, ask for prayer, receive prayer, etc....but still feel empty?  How many of these same people keep coming and coming to what they think is the well (church, Bible studies, prayer meetings, etc...) and constantly are searching for God's word for them that week.  For what God will speak through others to them.  For the "high" of being surrounded by the Spirit.  


But have these people ever learned how to get to the well themselves?  Have they ever sat at the well with Jesus, and had the conversation about His living water themselves?  I am not, in any way at all, doubting their salvation.  That is a different matter altogether.  Here, I am speaking about a person taking all they have learned and experienced and making it real through a genuine encounter with Jesus.  Get to the well yourself!!  Learn.  Listen.  Do the work on your own...draw the water yourself, because the vessel God would fill for you may be different than mine.  How would mine ever fill you?


To be filled completely; to not feel like you are still missing something...be sure you are getting to the well, having the conversation with Jesus, and accepting His gift of living water yourself.  Without ever learning to do that ourselves, we will miss out on the complete joy He has for us!  It takes work.  We have to learn the directions.  We have to follow them.  We have to walk from our home to the well.  We have to lower our vessel into the well and draw it back up, full of water.  But the rewards of doing that work ourselves is a greater knowledge of Jesus and who He is to us individually.  When we experience Him firsthand, we aren't relegated to "seconds," we get to enjoy the feast ourselves as guests at the table...not beggars on the floor or even outside the door, hoping for crumbs.


So the question I have asked myself and I challenge you to do the same is, "Am I drinking from His well on my own, with the vessel He has given me, or am I drinking from another's vessel?"


Whew!  All this talk of drinking and eating is reminding me of all the good eats we had today :P  Shortly after I woke up this morning, I was overwhelmed by an optic migraine.  If you haven't had one of these babies, it is no bueno.  It starts with the sensation that I have been looking into a bunch of bright lights and then looked away...I begin to see that sort of glare-y, star-type thing.  Like I said, no bueno.  I immediately took one of the pills I haven't had to take in over a year that are prescribed to me for migraines.  In about 20 minutes, the stars were gone.  But what comes after the stars is the worst part.  It feels like a bomb has gone off in my brain, and any sudden movement, loud noise, or bright light, makes me feel like it is going off again!  Ugh.  The med helps reduce it to a dull ache, but it is still a very uncomfortable feeling.  After hours of that feeling, I'm ready for it to go away!  What I found, though, is that if I stayed busy, I didn't feel it as much...so I kept very busy today :)


For breakfast, almost a repeat of yesterday's vanilla pudding bowl.  The toppings are the only thing worth mentioning, as I said yesterday.

While I was rinsing out my bowl and loading the dishwasher, I hear H say from the living room, "Mommy, take a picture of my blueberries."  LOL!  Do you think I take enough pictures of food?  hehe  I was happy to oblige:

Then, her bowl of fruit...served in her Little People TOY, of course :)

For lunch, we had to make a trip to the grocery store.  I still didn't trust that my vision was 100%, so R drove me to the store and helped me get the things I needed for a fun, chef-inspired meal :)


What do you think these ingredients worked out to be?

I'll help you out: 1 1/2 lbs of peeled and deveined shrimp, bacon, garlic, grits, cheese, butter, lemon, green onions, parsley, salt & pepper...


Ok, I'll just tell you :)  Shrimp and grits!  Not for me, obviously, but for the PETA (see yesterday's post if that scares you!) crew at my house...


The shrimp looked beautiful...

And the final product did too!  Cheesy grits, smoky shrimp with onion and parsley flavors...thanks, Bobby Flay :)  R loved it...we will try to omit the cheese next time, because he said the cheesy flavor is kind of lost in the grits and didn't add what appeared to be a crucial element to the dish.  In fact, it made the texture of the grits a little different than the kids and R expected.  So...next time, I will reduce or omit the cheese altogether and see what happens.

I had some shrimp (minus the bacon, of course) over a bed of spinach, drizzled with lemon juice.  It was surprisingly filling!


For an afternoon snack, I had what has quickly become my favorite cupcake...maybe ever: the mint chocolate chip cupcakes I posted yesterday.  I took a little (no more than 1T) vegan cream cheese and mixed it into my coconut cool whip to make a cream cheese frosting.  I then broke up one chocolate chip in a plastic bag for the topping.  I can't tell you how good these cupcakes are...they are moist, chocolate-y, minty...mmm...all while being relatively healthy.  So, so good!

Quick note on cupcakes: in my pictures, you may think that I don't know how to make real cupcakes, because they usually look flat and thin!  I only have a jumbo-muffin pan, so unless I double the recipe or amount per cupcake, I end up with cupcakes that look small.  In a normal pan, they would be just right...so don't let my pictures chase you away from making these delectable cupcakes!  I usually choose to keep the amount the same as if I was making 6 regular cupcakes (my pan only holds 6 jumbo), meaning I halve recipes that make 12, because I want to keep the calories down.  Otherwise, I would defeat the purpose of them being a "healthy" dessert.  The one above, frosting and all, is under 200 calories.  Beautiful.


What is your favorite cupcake?  I'd love to start giving some a healthy, vegan makeover.  Now that's a challenge I would gladly take on!
.

Faithfulness

.

"He will cover you with his feathers,

and under his wings you will find refuge; 

his faithfulness shall be your shield and rampart"

Psalm 91:4 (NIV)

The NLT at the end says, "...his faithful promises are your armor and protection..."


I love this.  What a beautiful picture of how the Father covers us with His wings.  How He shields us.  How His faithful promises serve as our protection!  In the last several months, I have tried to cling to His promises more than ever.  It is like there has been a shift in how I perceive God.  I didn't think I needed a shift - I was very happy with our relationship before (lol)!  But God knew I needed a push.  He knew I needed to be drawn in closer.  And so, His promises have become like a healing oil as I go about my day.  If I am struggling with energy, I remind Him of His promise that I will soar on wings like eagles!  That I will run and not grow weary.  That I will walk and not faint.  That I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.  These are God's Word, and I believe them to be promises of His faithfulness...and that these promises shield us and protect us.  An interesting side note.  Did you know that shields were not only used for protection, but also as a weapon when needed?  They were both a defensive and an offensive weapon.  So...if I follow this logically through to the end, I can surmise that God's promises...His faithfulness...are both protection and offense against the Enemy and any lies he might wish for me to believe.


Amazing.


Without going into extreme detail, let me just say that my awareness of God's goodness and faithfulness has reached new heights.  It seems like every day, God is confirming and showing me His love and faithfulness.  This is an awesome season...I don't ever want it to end!


Also in this season is some really interesting food :/  R made me take pictures of his and the kids' meals the last couple of days because he calls them his P.E.T.A. meals...as in, "People Enjoying Tasty Animals."  lol!  I hope that doesn't offend anyone.  I know R well enough to know he just enjoys seeing me roll my eyes and the chuckle he gets out of the kids and me when he says it :)


So...here we go.  Friday morning, I made myself a tofu scramble with nutritional yeast, a little turmeric, s&p, a few grape tomatoes (quartered) and some fresh spinach.  Served alongside an Ezekiel english muffin topped with a little vegan margarine (Earth Balance).

The kids ate scrambled eggs, Ezekiel english muffins, and fresh raspberries.

I don't remember what I had for lunch or dinner on Friday!  lol...sad, right?


On Saturday, we met my mom, stepdad, sister-in-law, and nephew at a nearby restaurant.  We sat outside and let the kids play for a long time!

Then, after a trip to the grocery store, I made a tofu stir fry with a coconut oil base, served over a bed of couscous.  The kids and R had grilled chicken, couscous, and green beans.  For the record, I've learned that when you cook with coconut oil in place of other vegetable oil, it makes the end result taste really rich and buttery.  It is so good!

And one of the "other" plates:

For dessert, I wanted to try out a new technique for making vegan pudding, so that I could try a soy-free version.  Hard to believe that this:

Turns into this (yuck!):

Which then turns into this chocolate pudding...

...or this vanilla pudding...

Crazy, right?!?  Well, let's start with the basic advice I'd give someone trying this for the first time: do NOT use stevia vanilla creme drops to sweeten it.  Sounds good, though, doesn't it?  Hmm.  It took some serious getting used to, and I can honestly say I will never make it again.  In the chocolate version, I added a little cinnamon and decaf instant coffee to try and cover up the flavors a little bit.  I used dark chocolate cocoa powder as well.  I topped it with a little Soyatoo rice whip and fresh raspberries (can you tell I love those?). I barely choked it down.  Even H didn't like it at all.  So...note to self: never, ever, ever, use stevia vanilla creme drops again.  They are just nasty.  No way around it.


Since I had already made the vanilla version (the chocolate one was my attempt to redeem this stuff), I had a plan to cover up the flavors :)  First, when I blended it and realized just how horrible it was, I added some cloves to tame down the bitterness and give it some warmth.  In my mind I was thinking chai-type flavor.  It helped a lot!  Still not good, though.  I portioned it into two 1/2 cup ramekins and chilled it overnight, thinking it might taste better once it was thoroughly chilled.  That helped, but this morning when I tasted a tiny bit, I knew it wasn't yet saved!  So, I dumped it into a bowl, mixed in a ton of chia seeds, topped it with brown rice crispies, fresh blueberries and raspberries, about a teaspoon of Biscoff spread (that stuff is ahhhhhmazing!!), and some melted coconut butter, which cooled and formed a magic shell-type topping.  Now we're talking.  I could actually eat it after adding all of that stuff on top!  lol  Why force it?  Well, I've told you how I am about leftovers...did you really think I'd just dump out food because it didn't taste awesome?  I was bound and determined to find a way to eat it and enjoy it :)


That was my breakfast this morning, and I have to say...between the chia seeds, the almond milk used in the pudding base, the sugars and fats in the toppings...I was sufficiently full until after church!  That's a good breakfast, considering it was 1/2 cup of pudding and tiny portions of the other stuff.  Next, I try a batch eliminating the stevia drops.  Yuck, yuck, yuck!


Before going to bed last night, I also made some homemade barbecue sauce.  I used to have a recipe, but I lost it somewhere in the moves, so I had to make it up.  The best part about the recipe (which came from a family member, handwritten on a note card...the best kind of recipe, in my book!) was that it was all prepared in the microwave.  Not that you could tell even a little bit.


So, I sauteed about 1/2 a medium sweet onion (finely chopped) in a couple tablespoons of our homemade butter by heating it in a baking dish for about 3 minutes in the microwave.  Then, I added two cans of tomato sauce, about 1/2 cup brown sugar (a little too much, to my taste, but the kids and R said it was great), a few teaspoons of black pepper, a generous sprinkling of salt, about five or six shakes of Worcestershire sauce, and a little over a teaspoon of apple cider vinegar.  Stir and heat in the microwave for about 3 minutes.  Repeat about two or three more times until all the flavors are well-incorporated and the sauce is bubbling.  


At that point, I let it cool for a couple of minutes, then poured into two pint-sized jars.  I refrigerated it to make the flavors really come together.  It's that easy.

I am really bad about recipes.  Sorry for the lack of exact measurements, but I just added and adjusted things until it tasted the way I liked it.


Early this morning, R put one jar into the crockpot to cover some pork ribs.  He turned the crockpot on warm.  Before we left for church, he poured the other jar of sauce over the ribs and turned up the heat on the crockpot.  When we got home, they were perfectly cooked!


Here was their meal - ribs and couscous:

 And my meal of leftovers - leftover tofu stir fry, couscous, black beans, and some avocado:

For dinner, I had the remaining tomato basil soup...finally cleaned out some storage containers in the fridge!  I know you're proud of me :)


A couple hours later, I wanted something sweet, so I made mint-chocolate chip cupcakes from this recipe, and topped it with a chocolate frosting.  I used some homemade coconut cool whip and stirred in some cocoa powder until it reached the consistency I wanted.  It was so, so good!!  I wanted another one, but I restrained myself :)

.

Recharging

.
In the spirit of honesty here, since I consider this to be like my journal, I have to say that I have really struggled this week.  Nothing horrible is wrong; nothing terrible has happened.  It's just been a bit of a "blah" week.  I find myself going through the motions, so thankful when I can finally put my head on the pillow and call it a day.


Last Sunday was amazing.  I can only think to explain this light state of apathy as recovery from that experience.  It was as if Leif took us to the mountaintop with God and showed us everything on the horizon.  Then, Monday morning I woke up in reality...the one where I'm still climbing the mountain.  I suppose that might explain a sense of almost disappointment that has followed me since then.


I have also been extremely busy with some legal cases I'm handling, I started a new class (I teach online college courses), I've been working on photography things...all while trying to be a good wife and mother!  During this time, I got a little behind on the homework I have for the class at church I started.  I recognized that perhaps my lack of momentum with that might be contributing to my general malaise, so I got caught up last night.  One of the chapters I read in the accompanying book, however, left me a little confused and conflicted.  I don't like feeling that way, and so I've really struggled today as I've tried to mull it all over in my "free time" (ha!).


One verse I read during my study time last night held a little bit of a surprise.  I have quoted the verse and often heard it quoted.  It is a very popular verse, usually quoted in the context of someone looking back at past hardships or tragedies.  Someone will usually say, "God works everything together for good..."  The end of that verse (and the beginning) are not always quoted with that verse.  Almost every time I have ever heard this verse, it has been after bad things have already happened, and someone is trying to make me (or someone else) feel better about the bad things by saying that God will work it out for good.  In other words, looking forward, God will work it in such a way that it will become good, even though it was and will remain a very bad experience.


However, last night as I was reading the verse, I realized that is not exactly what the verse says.  Not exactly.  Here's what Romans 8:28 says in the NIV: 

"And we know that in all things God works 

for the good of those who love Him, 

who have been called according to His purpose."  

(emphasis mine)

Did you see the distinction the way I did?  This is not looking in retrospect at the bad things that have happened, this is talking about while you are in the middle of them.  IN all things.  While you are going through tough times, God is working for your good.  One version even says it this way:

"And we know that in all things God works

together with those who love Him

to bring about what is good"

What a different perspective that gives!  While you are in the midst of your circumstances, God is working with you to bring about what is good.  Wow.  What comfort we can take in that promise!


Another great oft-quoted verse I read was Ephesians 2:10.  It reads:

"For we are God's handiwork, created in Christ Jesus 

to do good works, which God prepared

in advance for us to do."

(NIV)

Wow.  We were created for specific tasks that God created in advance for us to do.  You have a unique purpose on this earth!  God designed a plan for you that would capitalize on all of the talents and gifts He knew you would have.  Something only you can do.


The really cool part?  In the Greek, the verse says that we are God's "poema," which means a spoken work of art.  Whoa.  That's going to take a minute to sink in.  You are His spoken work of art!  He considers you His "masterpiece" (NLT).  That's right...you!  God considers the new creation you are in Christ to be His art.  His masterpiece.  And since you are a new creation, you have a unique role in the Body of Christ.  Something only you can do!  That's pretty awesome :)


This week has also been full of empathy.  So many people I know are going through circumstances that make my heart ache for them.  Usually, because I've been where they are.  I just want to rescue them from their circumstances, but then I remember that God, in His grace, might be trying to draw them closer to Him.   So, I give my emotions, my thoughts, my advice...a piece of my heart, really.  Suddenly, I started feeling really empty and exhausted today.  I felt like God was speaking right to me when I realized that of course I feel that way.  I don't have enough love to give everyone.  Only He does.  If I don't fill myself up with Him, I will run out.  He designed us to feel empty like that so that we'd come regularly to Him, thirsty, to be filled back up.  How do we get filled up?  We need to read His word and just let Him speak to us and over us.  We need to give Him all the hurts and emotions we are trying to carry ourselves.  The people we are trying to carry.  The lives we long to "fix."  He alone has the strength and love to carry all of that.  I needed to recharge my batteries by plugging directly into the wall outlet.  No car chargers or computer cables will do the trick when we are empty.  We have to plug directly into the main source: His Word.  Him.  And then let Him do His thing :)


While I've been struggling, I've also had some strange eating habits.  Today, for example, I felt very unsatisfied, no matter what I ate.  Too bad it took me until late this afternoon to realize that was because I was hungry and thirsty for HIM, not actual food.  I did okay, I just fought through headaches and tried to drink a lot of water while not making bad food choices :)


I really wasn't hungry when I woke up, so I committed a real no-no.  I didn't eat breakfast.  {{gasp}}  I know.  It's horrible to skip "the most important meal of the day."  I get it.  But some mornings, I just can't bring myself to do it.  Sometimes, I'm hungry, but I don't want to go through all of the effort to make a healthy breakfast and clean up after myself, so I just don't eat anything at all.  


Around noon, I was finally feeling hungry, but it was the headache that really made me realize my body was hungry.  I honestly still didn't feel hungry.  I made some brown rice and layered some black beans, spinach, jalapenos and grape tomatoes, which I sprinkled with a little smoked paprika and parmesan substitute.  Served with one Wasa crisp 'n light 7-grain cracker.  It was good!  Hannah ate some rice and beans, big J had some tuna and pita chips, and little J had a sun butter and applesauce sandwich.

I still felt like I was missing something, so I blended some raspberries, frozen pineapple, 1/2 a banana, chia seeds, protein powder, a tsp of sun butter, and some almond milk.  Very good!  I was hoping the chia and protein powder would help me feel satisfied.  It worked for a little while :)

For dinner, I reheated some tomato basil soup and topped it with some parmesan substitute and fresh parsley.  I love this soup!!  It is so creamy...you'd never know it has a chickpea base :)

Then, for dessert?  Hannah and I made dark chocolate brownie dip (1/2 of this recipe, since I had some chickpeas in the fridge and didn't want any more leftovers...I'm trying to clean out the fridge and pantry!) and flour-less chocolate chip cookies.  To the dip, I used coconut oil instead of nut butter and agave for sweetener.  I also added about a tablespoon and a half of flax and about a tablespoon of 6-grain rolled oats.  For the cookies, I used 6-grain oats, coconut oil, and almond milk (I had to use about 3-4 T to get the consistency right).


Everything was really good...except for the slight fish stick taste that must have lingered on my baking pan (despite being washed with soap and water!)...the cookies smelled slightly like fish sticks which was a little unappetizing.  We still managed to eat them, though :)  Dipped in the brownie "batter?"  So, so good!!  H and I tried dipping her banana in it, and that was really, really good :)

Ok...I'm off to recharge my batteries.  Do you feel empty?  As one sweet friend said, try purposefully turning your thoughts to Him as you go to sleep tonight.  When I remember to do this, I have the most amazing night's sleep filled with meaningful dreams.  It's like He speaks over me all night long.  Yes.  That's what I call rest!
. 

Pride & Prejudice

.

"For in the same way you judge others, 

you will be judged, 

and with the measure you use, 

it will be measured to you."

Matthew 7:2 (NIV)

"You are never more like Satan 

than when you are proud."

(Unknown)

When H woke up today, she said she'd like pancakes to eat.  The fact that she was willing to eat and didn't just want milk was a small victory!  So, I jumped on it and made pancakes.  Blueberry pancakes with spelt flour and oats, to be exact :)  She ate an entire pancake, and loved it!!  Hooray!!


The recipe came from here, but I changed it a little...and doubled it so I'd have enough for the kids.  First, I used 6-grain oats, which are the ones I buy in the bulk section of the grocery store.  Second, although I used two packets of stevia, I didn't think it was sweet enough for the kids, so I added about a heaping tsp of honey. And, I added a tsp of olive oil in addition to the almond milk, because (a) the tiny bit of fat is good for the kids, and (who wants fat-free pancakes?!?), and (b) the mix was plenty thick even with the added oil.


Of course, I ate two myself...they were too delicious to pass up :)


Served with a pat of vegan margerine, drizzled with a little agave, and dusted ever-so-lightly with homemade powdered sugar (splenda!):

Later, the kids and I went to the park...as we pulled into the parking lot, H said, "Oh, yay!  The cool park!" hehe...that about sums it up, I think :)  While there, the boys played with their friend who was out of school early today, and H found little ones to terrorize play with.  H was at the bottom of the slide telling a little one at the top, "Want to slide?  I've got you.  I'll catch you.  I'm right here."  Awww...my mini-me :)  She even held a little girl's hand and helped her up the stairs so she could go down the slide...over and over again!  It was really sweet.  I'm confused though, because the first time we went to this park, H went all over the big-kid playscape and the little one with no fear.  Down the huge slide she went, flying into the air at the bottom and landing in the mulch at the bottom.  She would smile and say it was fun.  The last two times we've gone there, though, she is afraid to go down any slide.  She is afraid to cross the "bumpy bridge," even though she knows it has been secured to keep it from moving too much.  It is the strangest thing.  :(  Today, she finally went down the little slide several times and then helped other kids do it too.


The older ones like to hang out at the top while the younger kids play underneath...

H climbing carefully to the top of the big playscape.  Why is she so afraid all of a sudden?!??  This is my child with no fear.  The one who causes me to have fear...big time (on the inside, of course...I'd never let her know how scared I am...lol)!  

For dinner, the kids and R had a pork stew with corn, cumin, tomatoes, etc...they ate it in tacos.  For me?  Wellll...it's a little embarrassing to talk about how bad I am about leftovers.  I am notorious for holding onto leftovers (no matter how small) until they are simply unsafe for consumption.  I freeze a lot :)  I just can't justify the waste of throwing food away.  Maybe I am a food hoarder?!??  Ugh.  I shouldn't even joke about that, since it is a real illness that harms a large number of people.  I'm not that bad, I'm just frugal.  So...I eat a lot of leftovers while the kids and R eat new stuff.  Tonight, I had leftover sweet potato, spinach, and chickpea stew, served over a bed of spinach.  But I didn't want the same dish over spinach, so I added chopped red and green bell peppers, a couple baby carrots sliced lengthwise, a couple tablespoons of black beans, sliced jalapenos, some chopped tomatoes, and a sprinkling of veggie shreds.  Because of the sweetness of the potatoes, I could easily have added about three times as many jalapenos for my taste.  Other than that, it was pretty good!

Back to my time at the park.  I sat on a bench watching H play while the boys paired up with some other kids their age for some two-man touch football.


While I sat there, I did one of my favorite things: people-watched.  It is amazing to me how different people are from one another.  And how different people often are from the way they look :)  As I made snap-judgments about some and gave grace to others, I found myself discussing this with the Lord.  I repented of my judgement and tried to find the root of it.  Why was I so judgmental about mothers who looked one way, while giving grace to ones that looked another way?  Anyway, I had a good time with the Lord on that one, and all I kept thinking about as I was repenting and asking forgiveness was the verse I put at the beginning of the post that says the way we judge others is the same way we will be judged.  Um, no thank you!  So, grace it was...for everyone after that :)  I'd hate for the Lord to judge me in the way I was unintentionally judging others, thank you very much.  I'd much prefer grace!!


Today was also a busy day on other fronts.  I spent a LOT of time on the phone today.  An unusual amount.  For the most part, I spend very little time on the phone.  It is hard for me to have meaningful conversations with people while H is running around the house, or we are homeschooling, or I am cleaning, or cooking, etc...it just seems very difficult for me to have phone conversations most days.  Without texts and emails that I can type and send in no time at all, I wouldn't have many relationships!  That's just the season I'm in right now.  I hope it will change in the future, because I love people, and would much rather see them face-to-face or talk on the phone.........like the old days ;-)


Anyway, during one of my conversations as an attorney today (hard, when you are looking out into the backyard thinking of how many things the kids didn't pick up, or how you'd like to plant your vegetable garden...lol), I was struck with how easy it is to be prideful in legal cases.  It sort of breeds that naturally, and not always in an unhealthy way.  There is always a little bit of "I'm right, and you're wrong"-type thought processes, and that is not always far off.  


Every day, we have to set aside our pride.  Think about your day.  I'm sure you can find at least one time today when you either did, or probably should have, set aside your pride.  Arguments or disagreements with spouses are always a good example.  It is so hard!!  Yet, as someone a friend of mine quoted said, "you are never more like Satan than when you are proud."  Hello....that is intense.  The reason Satan was cast out of heaven was because he became prideful, believing he was the most beautiful, the smartest, the most talented, etc...that he was better than God.  To be prideful is to step right into Satan's camp, which is a place I'd never like to be.  Think about that as you go through the rest of your day, or as you walk through tomorrow.  It will change how you view pride, let me tell you!  I am more than happy to set mine aside when I think in this way.  Maybe I should get a tattoo on my hand so I'll remember it every day of my life?  lol :)  My hope is that by continually renewing my mind, I will one day not have to work so hard to fight against the ugly parts of my humanness.  


A quick note here: avoiding pride does not mean being self-deprecating.  This is a trap I have fallen into, and one I believe many others have too.  It is okay to acknowledge the gifts and talents God has given you.  He gave them to you so you could take your rightful, valuable place in the Body.  The point is to give God the glory.  To truly know that without Him you'd have none of those things.  That without using them for Him, they are useless.


I don't think it is always easy to live the way God tells us to and wants us to.  The difference is that by renewing our minds, we are purposing to live His way.  We are consciously living our lives moment by moment, trying to please Him.  We are choosing to follow Him, even when the way is difficult.  We are training ourselves to run to Him first, before our flesh gets us into trouble.  That training changes our way of thinking.  It is a discipline, and one that requires continuing attention.  But, I believe that is the life that truly gives us freedom and joy.  So...I'll keep trying to get to that place :)


And while I'm working to get there, I'll make myself a little dessert!  lol  A brown rice cake with tofu/almond butter/strawberry "icing" and fresh raspberries.  Really, really good and very satisfying!

.  

Being the Beloved

.

"When Jesus saw his mother there, and the disciple whom he loved 

standing nearby, he said to her, 

"Woman, here is your son," and 

to the disciple, "here is your mother."

John 19:26-27 (NIV)

Sunday morning, we had the privilege of hearing Leif Hetland speak at our church.  He was there Friday and Saturday also, but we weren't able to attend those days.  He has such an intense anointing by the Holy Spirit that just hearing him speak changes your heart.  It's something that can only be described as supernatural.  It's not just a feel-good message, it is one that alters your whole perspective...even without you realizing it.  That's how strong the presence of the Lord is around him.  If you are looking to support a missionary going into the darkest, most remote regions in the world, I would encourage you to consider blessing his ministry.  Your money will be well spent.  Blind people seeing for the first time, lame walking, hearts changing...it is incredible!  He is going to areas where people are desperate for love and peace.  Lives are changing as a result.


If you check out his website (linked above), you will see what the heart of his ministry is: "We are dedicated to the 55,000 people who will die today having lived their entire lives never once hearing the Gospel of Jesus Christ."  Whoa.  That's pretty intense.  But that's the heart of God.  That should be our heart.


Ok, I didn't start this post intending to encourage people to donate to his ministry, I promise.  It just came out that way!  :)


What I really wanted to write out was what I have been internalizing since hearing him speak on Sunday morning.  He spoke about John, referred to in the Bible as, "the disciple whom he loved."  He spoke about John in a way I have never heard.  In the above verse, Jesus entrusted the thing he cared about the most--his mother--to John.  Why John?  And why was John the only disciple present at the crucifixion?


A few takeaway points from this weekend:  (1) John knew his identity: "the disciple whom he loved," (2) he knew how to lean into Jesus (see John 13:25 - "He, leaning back thus on Jesus' bosom, said to Him, 'Lord, who is it?'" [NAS] - he was asking who would betray Jesus), (3) John was not just part of the multitude, the 72, the 12, or even the 3...he was "the disciple whom he loved," and (4) he was the only one who shared in Jesus' sufferings (at the cross).


What does this mean for me?  Well, one thing is certain: I do not want to be a part of the multitude.  I want to be in the inner circle with Jesus.  More than that, I don't just want to be 1 of 12...or even 1 of 3.  I want to be His beloved.  I want to be the one He loves.  I want to be so close to Him that leaning into His chest for insight and direction is perfectly normal.  It is expected.  It is my first reaction.  I want Jesus to trust me with what He considers most important.  I don't want to just be a fair-weather friend, I want to be a friend of Jesus even when things get tough.  When they get impossible.  When suffering is the only word that makes any sense.  During those times, I want to stand next to Jesus, tune it all out, and hear Him speak to me.  When Jesus was on the cross, He spoke the words in John 19:26-27 that entrusted John with his mother (why didn't he ask his siblings to care for her?  No...he asked John, the disciple whom he loved).  I want to lean in closer during those times so that I can hear His voice more clearly.  I want Him to trust me with secrets the others aren't privy to...even the others among the Twelve.  I want Him to trust me with glimpses into the future; with a larger dose of the Spirit that allows me perform miracles in His name.  Yes, I want MORE.


I want to be desperate for Him.  In America, we have a hard time understanding that concept, because most of us aren't really desperate for anything.  While we might not all have everything we need, or we might not have a lot of what we need, but most people have at least a little bit.  In other countries far from ours, the villagers line up for food when it is delivered by humanitarian organizations.  Do you think they line up in an orderly fashion?  No.  They are desperate...so desperate that they climb over one another, pushing, shoving, whatever it takes to get to the food first.  Wikipedia and Dictionary.com define "desperation" as: "A state of despair, typically one that results in rash or extreme behavior."  It occurs to me that our attitude about Jesus shouldn't be a polite one.  We shouldn't just stand quietly in line, politely waiting for our hand out.  No, we should be so desperate for Him that we are running...doing whatever it takes...to reach Him.  To have that feeling within that is true desperation...knowing that we can't live without Him.  Needing more of Him just to survive.  That's the desire of my heart.  I don't just mean in my circumstances.  I don't mean tough times where we run to Jesus to save us.  Been there, done that.  I don't mean that kind of desperation.  I mean the kind of desperation that draws me to Him no matter the circumstances.  Where I realize that without Him I have no hope.  Without Him, I have no life.  Without Him, I am despondent (a synonym for desperation).  My prayer on Sunday afternoon while driving in the car, tears streaming down my cheeks, was that my heart would feel a total and complete desperation for Him.  I want Him to fill every available part of me.  And when the vessel is no longer big enough for more, I want Him to make the vessel bigger!!  I want it to overflow.  I want to long for Jesus.  Oh, how my heart and soul cry out for more!


Ok...let's go back to John, the Beloved.  Do you long for that same intimacy?  Do you want to be THE Beloved, instead of just one of the Twelve?  Then raise your hand, and He will pick you.  Allow Him to move you into that place of trust and closeness with Jesus.  Run to Him.  Become desperate!  


Whew!  That's a lot for me to contemplate this evening.  Do you agree?


Let's move onto the lighter things in life...how about days in the park and strawberry-chocolate truffle pie?  :)


Today, we met our friends at the park for an adventure!

J & H opened a "donut shop" and according to H, the donuts cost "ten dollars."  lol  Wasn't long before she had other kids "buying" donuts from her :)

Talking to big brother J through the "phone."  

A race is about to begin!!  I think it was a tie :)

After we got home, H took a nap for the first time in a loooong time.  It was so nice, but I wasn't sure what to do with myself.  So, I ate a salad and some of the strawberry-chocolate truffle pie I made yesterday.  These pictures aren't that great, but the pie was delicious.  I didn't wait for it to thaw much, so you can still see the ice on the pie :)


I froze some coconut cool whip to use as a kind of ice cream on top.  It was very good!  The crust is a flattened version of my dark chocolate fudge babies that are an adaptation of this recipe.

Ohhhh...it is chocolate and strawberry fudge-y goodness!!  So good, and so addicting :)

Hope everyone enjoyed today's beautiful weather like we did!  The sun came out early afternoon, and it was a perfect spring day!
.